Time to get Serious
by Noir Detective
Summary: First is coming and Buffy has enough. Its time to get some reinforcements and get Serious.


**Betead by my awesome beta BotticellisMuse,**

Time to get Serious

Buffy had enough.

She didn't ask to be resurrected.

She didn't want to have all these girls here, and _"Hello we're fighting a war against the First Evil! Didn't you idiots realize that there would be dead on both sides?"_

Faith was quiet, but one look at her face confirmed that she didn't agree with the rest of these morons.

Pity, that one of them was her own blood and flesh! "_Oh well, guess I would have to spank it out of her later." _Buffy thought sadistically. Now she had a phone call to make. Her thoughts drifted back to her uncle, to his unbelievable stories about evils he fought in Egypt. He always supported her.

"Well?" Willow said, waiting impatiently for Buffy to leave the house so that their new _elected leader _could start listening to them.

Buffy blinked at her owlishly, interrupted from her thoughts before she burst into a cruel laugh. "Fine, don't let the door hit you on the way out!" Buffy barked, as she walked to the phone, stunning the whole room.

"What?" Squeaked Willow, confused. This was not going according their plan!

Buffy just looked up, as she started dialing on the phone, "This is _my house_ and my rules! Didn't like them? Tough! Door's that way!" She pointed to the front door.

Her call connected and somebody on the other line picked up.

Kennedy tried to interrupt. All bravado, stomping her way to Buffy.

Buffy smacked her so hard that Kennedy did a 360 before falling on her ass.

She sat there dazed, holding her throbbing cheek.

"Hey Uncle!" Buffy said perkily into the phone, curling her hair around a finger. Just staring at Kennedy being fussed over by her girlfriend.

"Yeah, and you're as bad as me! You didn't call. You didn't write…" she said with a sigh. She paused, listening to her uncle.

"Listen, about those stories you told me when I was little? I have a situation like that that might use your expertise." She said and waited for his answer.

Faith with her slayer hearing, caught words like 'mayhem' and 'explosions' from the other side. _'Okay what was going on here and who was Buffy talking to?' _She wondered.

"Yep all those _plus_ things you like—demons, innumerable enemies, empty town to play with, end of the world. You know your favorites!" Buffy cooed into the phone.

Faith heard a faint 'yee-haaaw' in answer.

"Okay see you soon. Love you, Uncle! You're the best!" Buffy hang up giving the room sardonic smirk.

Giles was the first one to overcome his shock from Buffy's unprecedented behavior and asked, "Buffy, who did you call?"

"I called my Uncle Sam. And even if only half of the things he has been telling me is true…then" Buffy stated and grinned widely. "Uncle Sam would come, would see and would kick some major ass. Although this town would need some s**erious** remodeling after he's done!" She giggled. Finally things were looking up!

"Buffy…" Xander tried to butt in, but Buffy lifted a finger to cut him off with a sing song voice, "Nah ah uh! What part of 'this house is mine' you didn't understand? It's written in the deed! So if you're staying here, you play by my rules and shut up. **Don't like? As I said, the door's that way.** And Dawn…" Her voice became calm and deadly serious. "If you ever think of leaving this house with **them**?" She gestured a hand to the gathered Scoobies with a flourish like The-Price-is-Right-Girl, "I'd get medieval on your ass and you won't be able to sit for a month. I'm still your guardian, remember?" With that, Buffy walked out of the living room, not bothered at all when she hit Kennedy on the way, sending the condescending potential in a haze back on the ground again. Kennedy was aiming to put a fist on Buffy's face.

Buffy secretly chortled and internally cheered as she managed to knock out Kennedy's front tooth.

"Keep your bitch on a leash!" Buffy threw over her shoulder at Willow. She felt no remorse at all for the belligerent rich teen.

She headed for the kitchen. All this talking made her hungry, but nothing could dampen her mood as she whistled. _'The First…Caleb…hell all of their minions should start to __prepare their last will,'_ thought Buffy as she sang softly puttering about the kitchen, "You better watch out. You better not cry. You better be scared 'coz I'm telling you why…Uncle Sam is coming to town. And he will be Serious…all the way around…."

**Several Hours Later**

A car stopped at the sign Welcome To Sunnydale. The sky was velvety dark. All kinds of critters were fast filling the street to be the passenger's welcoming committee.

A man in faded jeans, red sneakers and white tee-shirt emblazoned with a 'grimacing' bomb logo at the back and front exited the vehicle.

He was built like a fighter and for some reason, wore a pair of orange sunglasses even at night. The man grinned, as he walked closer.

Several vamps and lower-level demons cut his way blocked his way and started to bicker who should eat the foolish human.

Surprisingly, the man shouted at them, "Okay fellas, I'm giving you simple choices!" He drawled, "we could do this the easy way or…" he thumped his gloved fists against his chest forcefully and pointed at himself, "orrr…**MY way**!" He finished with a winning smile.

The assorted demons laughed.

The man shrugged and said to no one in particular. "For some reason they always choose my way." With those words said, he reached into his backpocket and, to the shock of the demons' shock, pulled a wicked-looking and short, multiple-barreled, canary yellow-colored, rocket launcher; hoisted it upon a shoulder aiming at the denizens of Sunnydale.

"**Yeehaaawww!"**

XxX

Buffy was roused from her short nap by a noise somewhere outside her room. For a second, she hoped that the losers she once thought of as friends already downstairs.

What roused her from her sleep was the faint noise of gunfire and explosions that were slowly but steadily growing louder and closer to home.

She grinned. Her uncle's here and by the sound of it, he was having fun!

She bolted from her bed and skipped down the stairs to the side of where the Scoobies and potentials were gathered. She gave them a wave while sauntering to the kitchen and threw a packet of popcorn into the microwave.

Xander eyed Buffy suspiciously. She, with a smile on her face and song in her heart, danced down the stairs into kitchen. She started to prepare popcorn nonchalantly. He turned to Giles, "So G-man think somebody called an army?" He heard the clearly amplifying gunfire and explosions.

"Nope!" Answered Buffy from the kitchen as she had heard. Bless slayer hearing!

Buffy headed to the front porch to settle down and enjoy her newly-cooked popcorn.

Giles rose and followed out the door, "And pray to tell what it was then otherwise?" He was irritated by his slayer's flippant behavior.

Crunch. "Uncle Sammy came!" Crunch. Crunch. Buffy replied with her mouth full.

"Ohh…yeah! You want us to believe that all this racket was being caused by one man. " Drawled Xander dismissively. "Get real!" He fired at Buffy who just shrugged with a "Suit yourself!"

One of the potential watching out a side window called, "Hey, you have to see this!"

All of the house occupants surged to the windows and gaped.

At a fair distance from the house still, there was a man on the street with a freaking custom-made and modified rocket launcher and a handle held version of a minigun—of all things—shooting down and blasting up demons left and right, all the while gleefully yelling at them.

"Line up! I'm offering free tickets to hell!"

Most of the demons abandoned the fight and were scurrying to escape from that…that mad, walking, talking armory spewing bullets, rockets and flames everywhere.

A huge Haxill beast that was over 10 feet tall came into the street but the man pulled a huge block of C4 from his pocket and stuck a specialized piece of with a remotely controlled detonator on it. "It's a shame to let all this good explosive to go to waste."

He threw it at the demon, hitting it full on the face good and the universal hooks attached on its skin. The whole block exploded as Sam pressed the remote. That proved that Haxills were vulnerable to a large amount of C4. What was left of its body fluttered to the ground in gory pieces.

"He, he, rest in pieces!" The man laughed.

The street was suddenly clean of any demons. Well, clean wasn't the right word you would use to describe it as demon blood, guts and bits were everywhere.

The man looked at 1630 Revello drive and grinned again. He saw his niece. "Buffy!" He hollered good-naturedly.

Buffy bounded and hugged the man with a cry, "Uncle Sam!"

The newly-named Sam, to the utter shock of the Scoobies and potentials yet again, stuffed his specialized and forbidding weapons into his backpocket. He hugged Buffy and held her at arm's length to get a good look.

"Hey, you're still a squirt!" He said with a laugh.

Buffy good-naturedly shoved him and hit him with a dainty fist to the shoulder.

"Oww, that actually hurt!" Sam complained as he rubbed the afflicted area.

"Serves you right for being a buffoon." Buffy fired back at him.

"Yeah, yeah little B. So what's up with the apocalypse?" Sam asked. His hand felt into his backpocket again, and this time pulled out a hazardous-appearing modified automatic shotgun and handed it to his perky niece telling her that the Devastator was a custom-made automatic shotgun using explosive rounds as ammo.

"What I'd do to have an Uncle like that!" Faith pouted before interrupting the reunited relatives with "Have fun!"

"If you're good, I'd lend him to you!" Buffy called back over her shoulder. She examined the wildly changed shotgun. It had a wide Tommy gun-styled magazine for its ammunition in front of the trigger and equipped with a sniper scope. Definitely heavier and stockier than an ordinary shotgun as Buffy hefted it. Her slayer instincts intuitively told her how to use it. She released the safety catch.

Her uncle just raised an eyebrow at her and she smirked at him.

Willow just gaped and screeched, "You're using that? Are you serious?"

Both Buffy and Sam stopped and turned then simultaneously said…

"Yes, as a matter of fact he is!"

"I am!"

They both turned on their heels and walked away. Buffy started to explain this latest apocalypse, and the slayer line as the core of it all.

A few minutes later, the still stunned Scoobies could hear Sam scream a battle- cry, "He who wields a Devastator, fears not!"

As the gunfire, explosions, inhuman cries and roars renewed, they could clearly assume that Buffy and Sam started to wage war against the demons further wards and started to weed out the demon population in the merry town of Sunnydale to a nice round 'zero' bagging every violent demon they encountered as well as leveling a good third of the town to the ground.

_Life was good!_ Thought Buffy and causing such a mayhem with her uncle was surprisingly therapeutic.

The whole encounter was being watched by the entity known as the First Evil from afar.

It felt as most of its demons were annihilated. Or were going to be soon, if the tempo the killing duo was to be judged by.

It tried to read the man but from the vague memories It could see, there wasn't much. There was another presence in the man's mind that was unnatural. What…an AI? Maybe. Oh yes, it knows about all manners of technological feats humans made with the passing of time.

The First Evil didn't dwell on what little It got from the man's mind, before the man's unnatural mental resident managed to spot the mental intrusion and scared the First to withdraw.

If It heard right that the man was the older slayer's uncle, It was dreading what they could do together.

Its worries proved well-founded as the man passed a formidable weapon to the older slayer, and together they started dealing death and destruction across Sunnydale.

"_Well damn, __there goes world domination!"_ thought the First Evil as it watched as Caleb was reduced to a fine bloody mist by a stray rocket, before It faded from this reality. With the skills of those two, the arsenal that Sam had and probably has in reserve and definitely knows, they might have a decent chance of killing even Itself.

And It wasn't one to take such a risk for only one measly reality. Oh well, no hardship at all! It would bide its time. There's an eternity to wait.

Meanwhile on the streets, war raged. A war against evil. A war that never changes. Even with magic, it was hard to outsmart bullets and loads of explosives and two Bad Mothef##kers!

_WAR_

_Can you control your fears when a certain end is waiting_

_ahead of time and karma_

_the faith that's overacting_

_As weak and slim our chances are in the veil of darkness_

_the cross that we all carry_

_the cursed become the martyrs_

_And I know that if we go, there'll be the last man standing_

_And as we fall the spirit carries on_

_that the hero'll come and save us all_

_as we call the ones we left below_

_we all dream of day we rise above_

_The closure, expected_

_comes now the resolution_

_And I know that if we go, there'll be the last man standing_

_And as we fall the spirit carries on_

_that the hero'll come and save us all_

_as we call the ones we left below_

_we all dream of day we rise above_

**AN2: I don't own either Buffy or Serious Sam they belong to Joss Whendon and Crockteam & Devolver Respectively. While the song lyrics on the end are from Serious Sam 3 and it was composed and performed by Damjam Mravunac.**


End file.
